Avery F. C. Merkin, in the Department of Philological Antiquities
at Almondsley College, eagerly anticipates the completion of
Volume 2 of his revised catalogue of Merovingian ornaments, an
effort to which he has been devoted since 1968. Avery suffered a
regrettable accident with Occam’s razor some time ago, but every
cloud has a silver lining, since, as he writes, “I am able to
sing quite comfortably in the alto section of the choir now.”

Some men have all the luck! Alaric Hobson has arranged his
affairs so that he is able to spend all his time sailing. Just
this year Al has called at Rotterdam, Nagoya, San Pedro and
Dharan, to name just a few of the exotic ports he has seen.
It’s not all a bed of roses, though, he cautions. “Getting up
at 4:30 in the morning to open the scullery is never easy. But then, I get to
practice my French with the Algerian deckhands.”

Sad news from Jonathan Wanker, who reports that a routine
medical exam turned up evidence of ptosis, poliosis, and a
prolapsed perineum. Add to this a prior prognosis of protracted pruritis of
the pancreas, and it’s easy to understand why he feels glum. Get
well soon, Johnny!

F. Ellington Butts writes from Allentown, where he is adjusting
to new corporate surroundings after a stimulating and, it must be
admitted, sometimes hectic period as CFO of Swindell Corp. Ell
says he looks forward to getting reunited with friends, family
and former associates in 22 to 30 months.